(Only with a much smaller wardrobe budget.)
Setting: my classroom
Person #1: She sucks.
Person #2: That is so dumb! What did she say?
Person #1: She said...
Person #2: Oh no she di-n't.
Person #1: I know! She did!
Person #2: (beginning to cry) I don't know why she would say that about me...
Did I mention that both Person #1 and Person #2 are adults? In my school? Adults in my school that I work with. Crying. In my room. Before school, during school and after school.
And Friday was the ninth day of school. So, long story short, the year is off to a stellar start (please go back and insert sarcastic tone if you have not already....but really, you should know me better than that by now.)
There has been crying, cursing, plotting and scheming. The shit is hitting the fan fast and furious...we can't shovel it up fast enough evidently.
After a meeting of the minds (the minds being my other teacher friends), we realized that there is one individual responsible for all the high drama. And no, it's not the Weave. It's someone who we shall refer to as The Instigator.
The Instigator is an out-of-the-classroom person (imagine that). As is typical in my school (and I apologize to those of you out there who are out of the classroom AND hard workers...because where I come from, those two ideas are at some severe odds), this out-of-the-classroom individual has FAR too much free time. Now, this person has always had quite a bit of free time on her hands. In past years, she has used her flexible schedules to enjoy long breakfasts, read the newspaper, smoke cigarettes on the corner and spend time on eBay. As if her days weren't jam-packed enough, she has evidently now added "f*cking with teachers who are barely keeping their heads above water as it is."
I mean, talk about dedicated to your cause, right? If your cause is wreaking havoc, and not making any significant contribution to your place of employment that is.
Unfortunately, out-of-the-classroom teachers have an odd power at our school - and this woman is no exception. She is like the Godfather. You don't want to piss her off, because she will make your life a living hell. It is like the educational equivalent of putting out a hit, which in our case that translates to screwed up copy orders, no prep periods and constant phone calls interrupting your teaching. In the teaching world, that can be a fate worse than death too...
I've started wondering what her motivation is...and then my mind wandered back to the children.
Oh yeaaaaaa, the kids!
Anyhow, I'm exhausted from all the drama. I think my only option is to run out and get a pedicure (Mr. Mimi, if you're reading this, you may want to avert your eyes from the credit card statement....honey, I did it for the kids.)