Yesterday I was walking out of a school, high on the fumes of learning (a.k.a. freshly sharpened pencils and glue) and feeling very productive. I stowed my two overflowing bags (because any teacher worth her salt can't leave the classroom without a minimum of three projects) in the back of the car when I heard it.
I heard the laughter of children running around in the beautiful fall sunshine. I stopped to watch two third graders run around the field next to their school attempting to climb a tree. They were laughing and smiling and couldn't have a care in the world other getting up that tree. And I thought to myself,
"This is bullshit."
Seriously. Are you surprised?
In typical MeMonster (phrase coined by my internet BFF, the lovely Dr. Branstetter) fashion, those smiling, laughing faces made me think of myself. They spent an entire day of school working and learning and trying and attending. And now they get to fill their time with tree climbing, coloring, hanging with friends and stories before bedtime. I spent an entire day of school working and learning and trying and attending. And now I get to drive home, do a few loads of laundry, make dinner, write some lesson plans and get my read on because holy-cripes my professional book club meets next week and I haven't even broken the binding on that puppy!
Where is the joy I ask you?
(And if you tell me that you find joy in writing lesson plans, I will cut you.) (Okay, I can find nerdy joy in a beautifully planned week or finding the perfect read aloud or even using a fabulous new teacher pen for the first time.) (All right, and I can find joy in making progress with a little friend or watching a group of kids dig into a project I created.) (And yeeeess, I do find joy in caring for my family...) (I'm starting to see your point. I have a lot of professional joy and home life joy for which I'm very grateful.)
Mama needs a little joy for herself, don't you think? Some tree climbing? (Maybe not in these heels.) Or a little art project? Perhaps some yoga? Sooooomething.
So, in true Mimi fashion, I began to list Possible Sources of Joy.
Okay. I like art! Let's see, there was that piece of art I started for the Mini that I never finished...where did that thing go?
I also fancy myself a bit of a DIYer. Oh right, I could work on those stockings I started to make for everyone at chez Mimi. They didn't quite make it to the mantle last Christmas so maybe I could work on those...
And I did love that hot yoga class, but it's at 7:30 and that's totally bedtime....hmmmm.
Mr. Mimi gave me that amaze balls camera but since the baby I seem to only take pictures of her, so I wouldn't quite call that a hobby anymore, so that's a no.
And scene on the list.
I guess at this point, there aren't enough hours in the day. So, instead of climbing a tree, I'm going to enjoy the crap out of blogging. Instead of running around playing tag, I'll savor using my favorite Sharpies. Rather than curl up with a good book, I'll milk story time with the Mini and love every minute. These days schools can be such negative places, I feel like we need to find the joy all on our own.